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UK surfer confused by turds in water pollution

Photo - British bested by Bangers

Sewage of an unprecedented scale was reported to be floating round the South West UK Coast particulary near the coastal villages of Lynmouth and Martinhoe by outraged local residents who demanded an explanation for the outflux.

Events took a turn for the bizarre when the coastguard revealed that what had at first appeared to be sewage, was in reality the valuable cargo of a ship carrying German sausages to Liverpool.

Regular local surfer Dave Stewart had been out on his board at the time when the sausage spillage began to reach shore. "I was making the most of the quiet early morning and was scoring some nice clean 5 foot surf with no-one else about.

I saw this turd go past the nose of the board as I was paddling out, but wasn´t that surprised, it was only when I´d seen three in the space of about five minutes that I began to really feel uncomfortable. I thought I´d catch one more wave and head in, but then they seemed to be coming from everywhere, there must have easily been one every metre or so as I went out.

Your natural instinct is to avoid them, so it wasn´t until one practically hit me on the nose that I realised that it wasn´t a turd at all, but a Bratwurst. It was great, I´ve never had my breakfast delivered straight to my board before".

Story/photo submitted dy David Brown.


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